Thursday, December 26, 2013

Week 12, or “The one where my head hurt for 7 days straight.”

 *These posts come from a journal I kept when I found out I was pregnant, but didn't publish, as it was a big secret until the first trimester was over. I'm actually 24 weeks pregnant as I hit "publish" on this bad boy, so don't be confused*

Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk including, but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

So, I've been really lucky to escape almost all horrible 1st trimester symptoms: I never had morning sickness, I really haven't been THAT emotional (unless there's Easy Mac around), and I've only had to miss half a day of work because of pregnancy symptoms. Overall, I have nothing to complain about. However, one unpleasant part of pregnancy is that all the good drugs are off limits. No Aleve. No Advil. No Icy/Hot. These are the good drugs, at least in my world. In pregnancy town, only Tylenol is allowed, which is too bad, as my headaches laugh and point at Tylenol.

So, at the beginning of the 12th week, I started to have a dull headache. By day 3, it was pretty strong. By day 4, I couldn't get out of bed, because that's where the sun is. I spent all day with my head under a pillow, trying every “homemade” remedy I could think of. Something must have worked, because by day 5, I could face the sun again, and finally, by the end of the week, it had subsided. If I only could take 2 Aleve, it would have been gone in half an hour. Oh, the things we do so our baby won't have 3 legs.


Baby is the size of a: peach, which sounds pretty damn big until you skip ahead a few weeks and see that baby will end up being the size of a WATERMELON, which makes me whimper like a kicked puppy.

How I'm feeling: Now that the headache's gone, I just feel fat. Sooooooooooooo fat.

How much weight have I gained: Dude, I don't know. I stopped getting on that little bitch days ago when it said I'd gained 7 pounds.

Cravings: Starbursts, allllllll day. Just typing that word made my mouth water. Luckily, starbursts are packed full of healthy things like “hydrogenated palm kernel oil”, which I'm sure is CRUCIAL in fetal development....

How Russell's doing: Super duper. He's in the middle of band season, so I don't see him much, which is probably good because when I do, all I do is make demands of him. Mostly involving starbursts and cleaning the litter box.

How the nursery is coming along: So, Russell called AND texted the contractor a week ago, and he responded “I will call you tomorrow”.  A week ago. Russell's on fall break this coming week, and he vows to me that he will find the contractor, even if it means driving to his house. :)

Lies I've had to tell / tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:
Well, here's the thing: my co-workers are totally onto me. But even though we are officially 2nd trimester people, I don't want to tell anyone until next Friday, when my concert is over. That's just a "me" thing: I'm best when I'm focused on 1 life event at a time. So, we're just skirting the issue and pretending everyone's in the dark.

Best part of being pregnant this week: Those jeans I found in week 10? They still fit. But, on Friday, I had to unbutton them for the first time.

Worst part of being pregnant this week: Being in that horrible “not quite pregnant, just fat looking” stage. Also, everything I wear makes me look, brace yourself, pregnant. Which is fine, except we haven't told everyone, so..... awkward.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Week 10, or “The one with the not-so-Easy-Mac”

 *These posts come from a journal I kept when I found out I was pregnant, but didn't publish, as it was a big secret until the first trimester was over. I'm actually 22 weeks pregnant as I hit "publish" on this bad boy, so don't be confused*

Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk including, but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

Um, what happened to week 9? Hmmm. Math's never been my thing.

Week 10 marked an interesting transition from physical symptoms (exhaustion, sore boobs) to emotional symptoms (crying. Anger towards strangers. So much more crying). On the plus side, I'm starting to feel like myself again. I don't come home and crash from 4-6:30 every day. Some days, yes, but not every day! I can do normal household tasks without feeling like I have to go to bed when it's still light out.

On the negative side, whatever is going on in my uterus is making me GRUMPY. Like, really grumpy. Strangers, in particular, have really been on my bad side this week. I'm also prone to blurting things out during meetings that I might have otherwise kept to myself. Like, this week, a co-worker asked to have one of my cookies at lunch. But she asked in a baby voice, which is not my fave. Usually, I would have just ignored it and given her a cookie, but this week I was all, “IF YOU DON'T STOP TALKING LIKE THAT, IMMAHURTYOOOOOOO!!!”  To my credit, I did give her a cookie after the verbal abuse. And to her credit, we're still friends. :)

Then there's the Easy Mac debacle. Or, Hard Mac, as I like to call it now.

So, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Russell gets home at 7 pm because of band rehearsal. I am starving for dinner around, oh, 4:45, so he has to leave meals that I can make myself. This really limits what we can have for dinner, as the last time I lived alone, I used my oven for storage.

This past Thursday, he left me fish sticks, microwave veggies, and Easy Mac. The fish sticks and vegetables were no problem. Sadly, it was the EASY Mac that threw me.

See, you're supposed to add the water, microwave, and THEN add the cheese powder. Well, I added the powder first. Then, spent half an hour picking all the teeny, tiny, macaronis out of the powder. During this time, Russell came home, saw what I was doing, and made himself scarce. He's very smart.

Once I'd picked all the f*@#$ing macaroni bits out of the powder, I added the water and microwaved the first one. Three and a half minutes later, I opened the microwave door to find that it had exploded all over the place.

That's when the evening really went south.

I think I yelled something to the effect of “I'M JUST GOING TO DRINK WATER AND SIT ON THE COUCH AND NEVER COOK AGAIN!!!!!! as I flung myself on the couch like a toddler and cried. For, like, 20 minutes.

And my sweet, dear, patient husband assured me that this was not the end of the world and then ran out the door to buy more “Easy” Mac. He deserves a medal, really.

While he was gone, I composed myself and by then time he came home, I was normal again. Well, as normal as I get right now. And he made the “Easy Mac” for me so I didn't have to subsist on just water for the rest of my life.

So, that's the news! If I yelled at you this week, I apologize. Unless you're the maker of “Easy” Mac and then YOU CAN GO #*%*!* YOURSELF IN YOUR @#*!.

Like I said, there's been a little irrational anger.

Sidenote: This week, the baby app told me that this was the time when Aardvark would lose his TAIL.

Um, what??? He had a tail? This miracle of life thing is freaky. When I told Bethany, her response was, “Well, at least you HOPE he's lost his tail...”



Baby is the size of a: kumquat. Who the heck knows what a kumquat is? Personally, I think it sounds like a mixture of a couple really filthy words. 


Oh, so I just looked it up and turns out it's basically the cutest little mini orange you've ever seen. Now I feel bad about saying its name was dirty words. Oy.

How I'm feeling: Pretty good! I'm a terrifying combination of angry and awake.

How much weight have I gained: Ugh. 5.2 pounds. I blame the M&M diet of weeks gone by.

Cravings: This week, my baby app told me that the most crucial part of development was now OVER. Which means my baby is made up of Cheetos, M&Ms, and Mr. Gatti's pizza buffet. Basically, if Aardvark doesn't do well on the SATs, you can blame me.

How Russell's doing: Really well, considering he lives with Helga, the Husband Eater.

How the nursery is coming along: I texted the contractor to see if he got my email and he responded! Said that he'd let me know by the end of the week when he could start the job. That was last Wednesday. It's Sunday. Sigh...

Lies I've had to tell / tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:
The other day, during breakfast duty, I was standing next to a teacher who was holding a bucket full of water/cleaner mix. She kept trying to talk to me and it was all I could do to not puke all over her. Actually, everyone in breakfast duty (which is 8 am til 8:20 every freaking day) probably thinks I'm a huge slack ass. I'm always late (mornings are hard when you're preggo!!), I can't stand the smell of anything our cafeteria serves (fried “chicken” patty covered in hot sauce for breakfast?? Pass), and I sit down half the time. And by half, I mean all.

Best part of being pregnant this week: I found a pair of jeans, buried in my drawer, that still button!! Suck on that, 5.2 pounds!

Worst part of being pregnant this week: I only found that one pair of jeans that fits....

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Week 8 or "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

 **These posts are taken from a journal I started when I found out I was pregnant, but didn't want to publish at that time, as it was a big secret. In real time, as I post this, I'm 21 weeks, so don't let the dates mess with ya**
Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk including, but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

You may have noticed a real lack of “Week 7”. That's because I was asleep for all of it. Well, not the part where I was at work. But all the other parts.

I can't say that I was more awake in Week 8, but my body has at least settled into a routine: I wake up fine, go through most of the work day fine (occasionally I want to crash after lunch, but it's manageable). It's when I get home that I can't keep my eyes open. From 4:30-6:30, I am a zombie. So sorry to any scheduled events during that time that I have totally flaked on in the last few weeks!
Two exciting things happened this week: I told Bethany, the girl I co-teach with. I had to tell her – we work together, like in the same room, 8 hours a day. And have for a decade. So, she knows me pretty well and she knows when somethings up. I knew she was on to me and there was just no point in hiding it anymore. Plus, it's sure nice to have someone at work in on the secret!

Second: Aardvark graduated from an embryo to a fetus, which is only a slightly less creepy word. Also, we call the baby “Aardvark”. We'll save that story for later.


Baby is the size of a: kidney bean

How I'm feeling: Exhausted. And my boobs hurt. (Sorry Dad) Hungry all the time. And I have a little trouble sleeping – just can't get comfortable or wake up 3 times a night. But now I'm going to quit complaining because I have not had any morning sickness. Knock on wood.

How much weight have I gained: 3 pounds. I'm actually shocked I've only gained 3. I'm eating like it's going out of style. Like, one night I had 3 dinners, all on the couch. I just stacked my dinner plates, one on top of the other, on our end table. It was classy. Usually just thinking about food after dinner makes me gain a pound. Also, there was no working out this week – we tried to go running one day and it was so hot, we both quit.

Cravings: Um, not fruit....I'm working on that, or this baby is going to be made of cheetos and fried chicken.

How Russell's doing: Swimmingly, as usual! In week 7, he got to tell one of his coworkers, so he was happy about that.

How the nursery is coming along: Well, I emailed the contractor and told him our situation. He hasn't emailed back yet. Not sure if that's a good sign.....

Lies I've had to tell / tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:
“I have a school meeting / prior engagement / have to wash my hair” - to anyone who has scheduled anything after 4:30 in the afternoon. Sorry Home Tour Committee meetings!!
“I can't play laserquest with the kids because, um, my knee hurts....” - And because I'm afraid lasers would give Aardvark 3 legs.

Best part of being pregnant this week: Unlimited M&Ms.

Worst part of being pregnant this week: I don't have any pants that are comfortable anymore. I bought a “Belly Band” and, um, awkward. I mean, it looks fine, but in my mind I'm all, “DUDE, MY PANTS ARE UNBUTTONED”. I see why pregnant women in the 80's wore caftans 24/7: they look super comfy. Plus, who really strives to be fashionable during pregnancy?? I don't understand those women. Oh wait, I'm not fashionable when I'm not pregnant.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Week 6 or “The one where I change my name to Mrs. Gatti's”

**These posts are taken from a journal I kept during my pregnancy - as I post this, I'm 20 weeks, so don't let the dates mess with ya**
Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk including, but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

This week has been one of  high highs and low lows. The best part was definitely telling my parents and Russell's mom! Last Friday, we went out to dinner with my mom and dad. On the way there, I started to feel nauseous and it continued throughout most of the meal. I'm not really great at hiding it when I don't feel well, so it was pretty obvious to everyone. I just claimed I was carsick. When we got home, Russell and I decided to just go ahead and spill the beans because a) my mother would worry all night if she thought I was sick and b) we wanted to. So, we announced that we are expecting! Mom was basically out of her seat and crying before I even got the words out. Dad was typically stoic and reserved. They were both really excited!

When we got home, we called Russell's mom, Lisa, to let her know the big news. Russell had a pretty good set up: Lisa recently broke her knee and Russell pretended he was just calling to see when she'd be able to drive again. She talked about her dr appointment that day and then Russell said something to the effect of, “Well, I hope it will be healed by next April, because that's when your grandbaby will be born!”. I thought Lisa was going to drop the phone. She said “Oh my God!!” at least 2 dozen times :) She's already decided on what the baby will call her: Mama L.

The low part of this week has been my energy level. I am EXHAUSTED. Beyond exhausted. I feel like every day is closing night of the musical x 2. On Sunday, we were driving to church, and I said “I feel like it's midnight right now.” I spent almost all of the weekend in bed. I found that getting out and exercising does help, but man is it hard to get up the energy to walk out the door!

6 weeks!


How I'm feeling: So. So. Tired.

How much weight have I gained: Well, those first 4 pounds must have been water weight or bloat because as of today, the scale says I've gained 1 pound. And that one's probably because I craved Mr. Gatti's so hard yesterday, I made Russell take me there for dinner, where I promptly stuffed myself with pizza, got a stomach ache, and fell asleep in the car. I told Russell it's his preview for what having a toddler will be like.

Cravings: Mr. Gatti's pizza, potstickers, and Easy Mac. I've had it twice today. I'm considering a third round.

How Russell's doing: Doing well, considering I have become a useless lump this week. He was really excited to tell the family. We also both told our principals this week, which he enjoyed too.

How the nursery is coming along: The what? Oh, that room where I keep the vacuum? It's still there, as far as I know.

Lies I've had to tell / tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:
“Yup, I just love potstickers” - to all co-workers at lunch who noticed me eating potstickers for, like, the 4th time in 2 weeks.

Best part of being pregnant this week: Getting to see our families so excited!

Worst part of being pregnant this week: Having a hard time keeping my eyes open at work! And buttoning my pants.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Week 5, or “Holy hell, what have we done?”

These posts are from a journal I started keeping when we found out we were pregnant - right now, as I post this, I'm 19 weeks along, so don't let the dates confuse ya ; )

Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk, including but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

Well, first of all, Russell insists that this can NOT be Week 5 because of, well, math. But that's what my baby app told me, so....suck on that, math!

Finding out we're pregnant

So, this past Wednesday, we found out that we are preggers!! On my calendar, Wednesday was “1 day late”, so I could test if I wanted to, but it might be a little early. And the month before, on the same day, I'd woken up just knowing I was about to start my period. And I did, a couple hours later. So, I was thinking that I'd wait a day or two and just see what happens, mostly because I'm cheap and pregnancy tests are expensive. Don't believe those bloggers who say “They're just a buck at the dollar tree!!”. Yeah, if you can find a dollar tree that has any left. Mine just had a thousand glow bracelets and porcelain cats.

But here's the thing: when there's a chance you might be pregnant and all you have to do is pee on that stick to find out, even if it costs 8 WHOLE DOLLARS, you're probably going to pee on it. And I did.

I put it on a shelf while I brushed my teeth because I was not, not, NOT going to watch it develop. Bad karma or something. So, after I brushed my teeth, I went to check it out. And guess what?

Two lines.

You can't see me, but I'm making that face where my eyes are reallllllllly big.

When I get nervous, sometimes I try to read things backwards. Maybe I'm a little dyslexic. Who knows. I had to read the box about 10 times before I finally understood that two lines = pregnant. Gulp.

Now, here's the thing: Russell was already in the shower by this point. In the other bathroom. And I didn't want to bust in on him, all naked in the shower, and yell “WE'RE PREGNANT!!”  So, I had to sit with that information for about 10 minutes. It was killer! And I kept thinking, “I should tell him in some cute, pinterest approved, way.”  But let's face it, Pinterest is a lot of great ideas that nobody executes. Instead, I opted for “Hey, want to see something cool?” and handing him the pee stick.

His reaction was “Well, are you???"  to which I'm like, “I guess!”  It was very surreal. It's like your whole life has changed but everything looks the same. After the initial squealing and hugging, we realized we had to go to work. Russell already had students, but I was just going to a super-fun Common Bore, er, Common Core training, which I remember nothing of, because I was too busy reading about the first trimester on my phone. Sorry, Common Core presenter.

Clean my mirrors? Ain't nobody got time for that.


How I'm feeling: Good! I've had some cramps and a pretty constant backache. The weekend before we found out, I had a really sore throat, which I hear can be a symptom of pregnancy. Also, I already have to pee 20 x a day. But, no morning sickness so far!

How much weight have I gained: I hate this stat, but I'm putting it on here to make myself accountable. Actually, in the first TWO DAYS, I gained FOUR POUNDS. And made a bunch of comments about how, at this rate, they were going to have to lift me from the house via crane for the birth. And referred to myself as Shamu a lot. But within a few days, all of those pounds had left except for 1. So, I'm calling that bloating and not weight gain. I've cut out all Diet Coke and most caffeine – I can't cut out the Starbucks entirely, as I am addicted, but I can switch to decaf :) I've also upped my fruit and veggie intake, added Vitamin D and Magnesium supplements to my Prenatal Vitamin, and exercised every day.

Cravings: I was really hoping to be one of those pregnant women who craved fresh fruit and raw spinach. Instead, I craved mayonnaise. Sigh....

How Russell's doing: Really good! Russell's the type who is super nervous about change before it happens, but once it's happening, he's totally on board. Actually, on Sunday, he mowed the yard, did the dishes, and mopped the floor. Booyay!!

How the nursery is coming along: Ha! Hahahahahahahahaha! The “Nursery” is currently home to every piece of junk that doesn't have a place in our house. Oh, and a lot of lead paint. And exposed wires. Every newborn's DREAM.

Lies I've had to tell / tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:
Moving a piano – not sure if my co-worker realized, but when we moved the piano into the chorus room, I wasn't pushing that thing. At all. Sorry Steven!!

“Oh darn, I forgot that paint brush again!” - Before I knew I was pregnant, I suggested we paint a bookcase in our classroom and offered to bring a paintbrush. So, every couple of days, when my co-teacher says “Hey, you forgot the paintbrush!”, I have to pretend that I'm a huge dumbass. It's not hard.

“I'm just asking for obstetrician referrals for the FUTURE!” - had to tell my mom this one, more than once. She's onto us.

Best part of being pregnant this week: Having a secret that no one else knows.

Worst part of being pregnant this week: See above. I AM HORRIBLE WITH SECRETS. I'm dying to tell everyone I see!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Annual Sound of Music round up

It’s that time of year again! Spring, you say? No, silly! It’s the time of the year when I get tired of teaching and show the kids a video instead! I mean, er, when I teach a unit on musical theatre which focuses on “The Sound of Music” :)  Either way, it all culminates in a glorious “Sound of Music” test. The answers are below, and as usual, disappointing.

*Disclaimer: these answers do, thankfully, represent only a small portion of the kids I teach. Most students aced this bad boy, no problem. So don't go thinking that I'm the crappiest teacher ever or that I just pop in the video and then give them a hard test so I can make fun of them. No, no, we did actually study this, complete with review sheet before the test! Which makes these answers all the more perplexing. :)

Here are the test questions followed by student answers in bold and my comments in italics. Answers are printed exactly as they were written on the test, bad spelling and all.

Question #1. Name 3 songs from “The Sound of Music”
From two different kids:  "I'm a deer!" and "The Doe in me" - This show is all about connecting with your inner deer.

All from one student: "Farewell, goodbye!", "Hello, goodbye!" and "A long hello!"  - Sadly, not even one of those is right.

Other answers included:
"Fellwell, goodby, nice to see you. Something like that"
"There's nobody like Maria"
"Farewell and Anschluss"
“Bad Maria”
“I have conffidients in mer”

Question #2:   Fill in the blanks
Do, a deer, a _____________ deer (Correct answer: female)              "a loving deer", "a part of deer" “a galloping deer”

Re, a ________ of golden ____  (Correct: drop of golden sun)      "cup of golden tea", "a tree of golden leaves", "a dress of golden bells", "a doo of golden boo" (what the hell?) “bucket of golden blues” “ray of golden pot”

Mi, a name I call ____________  (correct: myself)    "myslef."

Fa, a long long _____ to _____________  (correct: way to run) "wage to running" "way to freedom" "time to cats" “needle to pot”(This answer probably requires me to make some kind of report to the Dept. of Child Services)
Sol, a _________ pulling _________. (correct: needle pulling thread)   "thread pulling a needle" explain to me how that works, kid.   "ring pulling fish" "Pie pulling down" "thread pulling thread'

La, a note to follow ______ (correct: sol)  "paper" "a lizard" 

Ti, a drink with ______ and _________  (correct: jam and bread) "jelly and a sandwich", "sugar and a lemon", "them and pie" “jello and bread”

And my favorite rendition:
"Do, a deer, a male deer.
Re, a deer of golden coins.
Mi, a name a call myslef.
(spelled just like that)
Fa, a long long time to be a nun.
Sol, a mare pulling a deer.
La, a note to follow too.
Ti, a drink with ice and sugar."

Question #3:  In what country does this story take place? (Correct answer: Austria)

And one kid wrote “nomads”, then crossed it out and wrote “Irland”. Sigh…

Question #4. Maria isn’t a very good nun. Why?
 "She follows the rules" Um.....
 "She whilshilshes in the chapel" I want you to know that I showed this answer to my co-teacher, just so someone else could witness the spelling atrocities. 
"She sings in the alley, she shows off her hair, and she has rips in her dress"  Oh, so she's THAT kind of nun. That IS bad.
"She comes to church late and she's always flirtin'"
“She’s always latte”  Maria’s career as a barista really got in the way of her nunning.

Question #5.  During “So Long, Farewell”, why does Liesl want to stay at the ball? (Correct answer: to have her first champagne)

 "Because Uncle Max asked her to be his date" Turns out Uncle Max is that kind of uncle....
"Because she wants her daddy"  Awkward.
“She wants it to be her first campaign” Spelling is hard, y’all.

Question #6. If the Baroness marries the  Captain, what will she do with the children? (Correct answer: send them to boarding school)

 "Puts them in boring school" Oh kids, we call that public school. ;)
"Send them to alternative school" This is where bad middle schoolers go in our county
"Send them south of the border." I fear this child has mixed up facts with a Taco Bell commercial.

Question #7. What happens between Liesl and Rolf in the gazebo? (Correct answer: they sing “16 going on 17” and kiss)
 "She tells the man they have to run"

Also, while the kids were taking the test, a little boy came up to me and asked, “Mrs. Mccurdy, what’s a gaze – bow?” Took me a minute to realize he meant gazebo.

Question #8. The children put on a puppet show- what is the puppet show about?
 “Its about this woman that wants this guy but she has goats”    Moral of that story: if you’ve got goats, you’ll be single for life.

"it's about how they put a frog in her pants" In case you haven’t seen the movie, this is referencing an earlier scene. This kids not a TOTAL weirdo.

"Them on hills and sheep and two people met and dance" Ah, grammar.

And my favorite:

Just wolves. So, according to this kid, shepherds lead flocks of wolves? I hope he never runs into an actual wolf.

Question #9:  What is the lesson Mother Superior is trying to teach Maria during “Climb Every Mountain”? (Correct answer: to pursue your dreams, or something like that)

"how to sing good and get better a remembering the songs”
"how to dance"
“be on time!!”
Question #10:  What was the Anschluss? (Correct answer: the Nazi occupation of Austria. I literally said this 3 jillion times.)

 "A concert where choirs sing"
"To sing with the Nozies singing"
 "The head nun"
“A dinner?”

Question #11:  What does Herr Zeller want from Captain VonTrapp (when he returns from his  honeymoon)?
 " a ring" In the wise words of Beyonce, “if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!”
"sign his kids up to be in a show"   Yes, the fun show where you have to hide behind grave stones so Nazis don’t kill you and your family. That show’s my fave
"his children" 
"He wants to kiss him, so bad"  I have no idea what this kid was going for.
"He wants the Captain to work for The Hitler"  This is such a South Knoxville answer – “The Hitler”. Just like, “Imma go down to The Walmart, ya know the one right next to The Kenjo, and get me uh new nascar tee-shirt!”
"He wants the kids to sing in a festival"  Only if we’re calling WWII a “festival”.

Question #12;  Who is the family running from at the end of the movie? (Correct answer: the Nazis)
 "Maria and the Captain and his kids"
"The Wazis"
"The Baronness"  Wouldn’t it be an awesome plot twist if the one orchestrating the whole Nazi thing was the jilted Baroness?? I like where this kids head is at.
"The Russian Security"

Question #13: Why are the Nazis upset when they hear the Captain singing “Edelweiss”?

 "because the nazis are jealous because they sing good" Everyone knows Nazis can’t sing worth crap.
 "because they realize it was wrong of them to invade england"
"because the nazis think they could sing it better" This is the true cause of the war – jealousy over the Captain’s singing voice.
"They don't like that he's singing it 'cause he invaded their country"
This kid is just confused.
“Because he’s a captain. Captain’s don’t sing” “This is the Anschluss! There’s no singing in the Anschluss!!”

“Nazis hate music” That one might be accurate!

Question #14:   Why can’t the family just drive to Switzerland? (Correct answer: the borders are closed)
 "cause there are too many mountains and that nun told them not to" I don't think this kid understood the meaning of  "Climb Every Mountain" 
"they put the wall up" I’m wondering if the social studies classes are studying the Berlin Wall?

Question #15:  Why can’t the Nazis catch the VonTrapp family?
"Because they are hanging from trees" I’m hoping this is referencing an earlier scene where the kids climb trees, not a lynching.

Question #16:  Who wrote “The Sound of Music?
 "Albert Einstein and Roger"
 "Andy"  Just Andy. No last name. Like Beyonce.
"Hammerstain and Anschluss"
“The Jolly Rodgers”

Question #17:  Name the Vontrapp children. The first letter was provided:
Liesl: Lesisel
Frederic: Frank, Ferdick, Frogurt.
Louisa: Lambergeta, Lars, Lescy, Len
Kurt: Kiel
Brigitta: Barrel, Borders, Bogeta, Brandon, Bender, Brooklyn, Bermheld, Boisel, Beasty  This is by FAR the hardest name for middle schoolers. I mean, seriously: Beasty???
Marta: Meager, Magenta, Murgurt, Mary, Measel, and "Mablabablabata. I don't know", Magnet
Gretl: Gilbert, Gary, Greasal

And some kids didn’t get any names right:

"Lisa, Frank, Lisa, Kevin, Britney, Mary, and George."  How many families have 2 kids by the same name?
"Lies, Flowers, Lol, Kelly, Billy, Maria, and Gill" Half of these are just nouns.
"Leslie, Ferrell, Lacey, Kimmy, Bonny, Maggy, and Gretel."

And my personal favorite: the only character this kid could remember was Frederic (pronounced FREE-der-ick). So, he just added “ederic” to every letter I’d provided. I like to read this one out loud to myself when I’m having a bad day.

Lederic, Frederic, Lederic (again. ‘cause that makes sense), Kederic, Bederic, Mederic, and Grederic.

And now for some opinion questions: 

Question #18:  This movie came out in 1965 and is still the most popular movie musical of all time. Why do you think it still appeals to audiences?

“When the dad was talking snake talk to the boy.” I think this kid meant “smack” talk. That or they’re confusing this movie with Harry Potter.

 "Because it is a hard teaching movie with twists, turns, and fabulous music" This is just a great answer! :) 

Question #19:  What was your favorite part of the movie? Why?
"The end because the movie was finally over" I hate children. Just kidding. Don't fire me. :)

Question #20:  If you were playing a character in the musical, which one would you be? Why?
"Liesal, because she is secretive and she can drive and play the geetar." Ah, the geetar. Also, when did this kid see Liesl driving?

"I would be that woman on stage who got third place in the festival competition because she won a prize, she got some flowers, and she wasn't being hunted down by Nazis." I love this answer! :)

So, according to my 6th grade students:

“The Sound of Music”, written by The Jolly Rodgers, tells the story of Maria, a slutty, coffee-slinging nun living in Alstrya, who is sent away from her Abbey because she rips her clothing and whilshilshes too much. She becomes the governess for a snake-charming Captain and his 7 children: Lies, Frogurt, Lambergeta, Kevin, Beasty, Magnet, and Gary. They obviously need a governess as one is dating her own uncle, another is oddly secretive, and another has begun some type of “campaign”. She teaches them songs like “Bad Maria”, “The Doe in Me”, and “I have conffidients in mer” as well as a puppet show about a woman with frogs in her pants who shepherds wolves and is hopelessly single. Maria soon falls in love with the Captain, who breaks it off with his Baroness girlfriend (who would have sent the kids south of the border, had they married). Confused, Maria returns to her Mother Superior, who teaches her to dance and memorize songs. She returns to the mansion and marries the Captain, but whilst on their honeymoon, the Anschluss (a dinner where Nazi choirs sing) happens and they rush home to find Herr Zeller who, despite his secret love for the Captain, merely asks him to work for The Hitler.  The Captain refuses and taunts them with song – the only true defense against Nazis, since they are tone deaf. The family tries to escape to Switzerland, but they can’t because of the Berlin Wall. In the end, it is revealed that the Baroness, blinded by rage and revenge, was behind the whole thing and the family is lynched.

Sounds right to me!  

Sunday, January 6, 2013

IKEA Rast Bedside Table Hack

Hello world! I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year! :)

Since Russell and I both had 2 weeks free from work, we knocked out a couple of projects around 'ole McCurdy house. The first was to improve our bare bones IKEA nightstands.

First of all, I wish I could take credit for this idea, but alas, MANY others have done this hack- Vanessa at This & That did a nice stained wood version; Give Everybody Nice Sweaters actually did the hack 3 times, 3 different ways (this one was my fave); but A Charming Nest's  version was the one we worked from. I liked the contrast between the painted body and the stained top- plus all the wood in our bedroom is stained, so I thought it would be a nice change.

So, here's the before picture- like, right before, hence all the sawdust on the porch. By the way, this is the lovely IKEA Rast Dresser- $35.00!

 I won't go by the play by play, but basically Russell added base molding to the bottom and lattice to the sides and drawers. Then, he beefed up the top with some 1 x 6's and more lattice.
 Then, I painted the bottom, stained the top, and added hardware (from Hobby Lobby). Here is the final product!
 We have 2- one on each side of the bed. Ignore all those scratches on the floor (or kindly make a donation to the "we need to re do the floors upstairs" fund.)
Total, the project probably cost around $40 in wood, plus the $35 each for the dressers and took about 6 hours over 2 days.  $55 for a bedside table? Not too shabby :)