Week 5, or “Holy hell, what have we done?”

These posts are from a journal I started keeping when we found out we were pregnant - right now, as I post this, I'm 19 weeks along, so don't let the dates confuse ya ; )

Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk, including but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

Well, first of all, Russell insists that this can NOT be Week 5 because of, well, math. But that's what my baby app told me, so....suck on that, math!

Finding out we're pregnant

So, this past Wednesday, we found out that we are preggers!! On my calendar, Wednesday was “1 day late”, so I could test if I wanted to, but it might be a little early. And the month before, on the same day, I'd woken up just knowing I was about to start my period. And I did, a couple hours later. So, I was thinking that I'd wait a day or two and just see what happens, mostly because I'm cheap and pregnancy tests are expensive. Don't believe those bloggers who say “They're just a buck at the dollar tree!!”. Yeah, if you can find a dollar tree that has any left. Mine just had a thousand glow bracelets and porcelain cats.

But here's the thing: when there's a chance you might be pregnant and all you have to do is pee on that stick to find out, even if it costs 8 WHOLE DOLLARS, you're probably going to pee on it. And I did.

I put it on a shelf while I brushed my teeth because I was not, not, NOT going to watch it develop. Bad karma or something. So, after I brushed my teeth, I went to check it out. And guess what?

Two lines.

You can't see me, but I'm making that face where my eyes are reallllllllly big.

When I get nervous, sometimes I try to read things backwards. Maybe I'm a little dyslexic. Who knows. I had to read the box about 10 times before I finally understood that two lines = pregnant. Gulp.

Now, here's the thing: Russell was already in the shower by this point. In the other bathroom. And I didn't want to bust in on him, all naked in the shower, and yell “WE'RE PREGNANT!!”  So, I had to sit with that information for about 10 minutes. It was killer! And I kept thinking, “I should tell him in some cute, pinterest approved, way.”  But let's face it, Pinterest is a lot of great ideas that nobody executes. Instead, I opted for “Hey, want to see something cool?” and handing him the pee stick.

His reaction was “Well, are you???"  to which I'm like, “I guess!”  It was very surreal. It's like your whole life has changed but everything looks the same. After the initial squealing and hugging, we realized we had to go to work. Russell already had students, but I was just going to a super-fun Common Bore, er, Common Core training, which I remember nothing of, because I was too busy reading about the first trimester on my phone. Sorry, Common Core presenter.

Clean my mirrors? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Stats

How I'm feeling: Good! I've had some cramps and a pretty constant backache. The weekend before we found out, I had a really sore throat, which I hear can be a symptom of pregnancy. Also, I already have to pee 20 x a day. But, no morning sickness so far!

How much weight have I gained: I hate this stat, but I'm putting it on here to make myself accountable. Actually, in the first TWO DAYS, I gained FOUR POUNDS. And made a bunch of comments about how, at this rate, they were going to have to lift me from the house via crane for the birth. And referred to myself as Shamu a lot. But within a few days, all of those pounds had left except for 1. So, I'm calling that bloating and not weight gain. I've cut out all Diet Coke and most caffeine – I can't cut out the Starbucks entirely, as I am addicted, but I can switch to decaf :) I've also upped my fruit and veggie intake, added Vitamin D and Magnesium supplements to my Prenatal Vitamin, and exercised every day.

Cravings: I was really hoping to be one of those pregnant women who craved fresh fruit and raw spinach. Instead, I craved mayonnaise. Sigh....

How Russell's doing: Really good! Russell's the type who is super nervous about change before it happens, but once it's happening, he's totally on board. Actually, on Sunday, he mowed the yard, did the dishes, and mopped the floor. Booyay!!

How the nursery is coming along: Ha! Hahahahahahahahaha! The “Nursery” is currently home to every piece of junk that doesn't have a place in our house. Oh, and a lot of lead paint. And exposed wires. Every newborn's DREAM.

Lies I've had to tell / tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:

Moving a piano – not sure if my co-worker realized, but when we moved the piano into the chorus room, I wasn't pushing that thing. At all. Sorry Steven!!

“Oh darn, I forgot that paint brush again!” - Before I knew I was pregnant, I suggested we paint a bookcase in our classroom and offered to bring a paintbrush. So, every couple of days, when my co-teacher says “Hey, you forgot the paintbrush!”, I have to pretend that I'm a huge dumbass. It's not hard.

“I'm just asking for obstetrician referrals for the FUTURE!” - had to tell my mom this one, more than once. She's onto us.

Best part of being pregnant this week: Having a secret that no one else knows.

Worst part of being pregnant this week: See above. I AM HORRIBLE WITH SECRETS. I'm dying to tell everyone I see!