The Annual Sound of Music round up

It’s that time of year again! Spring, you say? No, silly! It’s the time of the year when I get tired of teaching and show the kids a video instead! I mean, er, when I teach a unit on musical theatre which focuses on “The Sound of Music” :)  Either way, it all culminates in a glorious “Sound of Music” test. The answers are below, and as usual, disappointing.

*Disclaimer: these answers do, thankfully, represent only a small portion of the kids I teach. Most students aced this bad boy, no problem. So don't go thinking that I'm the crappiest teacher ever or that I just pop in the video and then give them a hard test so I can make fun of them. No, no, we did actually study this, complete with review sheet before the test! Which makes these answers all the more perplexing. :)

Here are the test questions followed by student answers in bold and my comments in italics. Answers are printed exactly as they were written on the test, bad spelling and all.

Question #1. Name 3 songs from “The Sound of Music”

From two different kids:  "I'm a deer!" and "The Doe in me" - This show is all about connecting with your inner deer.

All from one student: "Farewell, goodbye!", "Hello, goodbye!" and "A long hello!"  - Sadly, not even one of those is right.

Other answers included:

"Fellwell, goodby, nice to see you. Something like that"

"There's nobody like Maria"
"Farewell and Anschluss"

“Bad Maria”

“I have conffidients in mer”

Question #2:   Fill in the blanks

Do, a deer, a _____________ deer (Correct answer: female)              "a loving deer", "a part of deer" “a galloping deer”

Re, a ________ of golden ____  (Correct: drop of golden sun)      "cup of golden tea", "a tree of golden leaves", "a dress of golden bells", "a doo of golden boo" (what the hell?) “bucket of golden blues” “ray of golden pot”

Mi, a name I call ____________  (correct: myself)    "myslef."

Fa, a long long _____ to _____________  (correct: way to run) "wage to running" "way to freedom" "time to cats" “needle to pot”(This answer probably requires me to make some kind of report to the Dept. of Child Services)

Sol, a _________ pulling _________. (correct: needle pulling thread)   "thread pulling a needle" explain to me how that works, kid.   "ring pulling fish" "Pie pulling down" "thread pulling thread'

La, a note to follow ______ (correct: sol)  "paper" "a lizard" 

Ti, a drink with ______ and _________  (correct: jam and bread) "jelly and a sandwich", "sugar and a lemon", "them and pie" “jello and bread”

And my favorite rendition:
"Do, a deer, a male deer.
Re, a deer of golden coins.
Mi, a name a call myslef. (spelled just like that)
Fa, a long long time to be a nun.
Sol, a mare pulling a deer.
La, a note to follow too.
Ti, a drink with ice and sugar."

Question #3:  In what country does this story take place? (Correct answer: Austria)

 Alstrya

Olstaley

swittale

Astrin
Iceland

And one kid wrote “nomads”, then crossed it out and wrote “Irland”. Sigh…

Question #4. Maria isn’t a very good nun. Why?

 "She follows the rules" Um.....

 "She whilshilshes in the chapel" I want you to know that I showed this answer to my co-teacher, just so someone else could witness the spelling atrocities. 

"She sings in the alley, she shows off her hair, and she has rips in her dress"  Oh, so she's THAT kind of nun. That IS bad.
"She comes to church late and she's always flirtin'"

“She’s always latte”  Maria’s career as a barista really got in the way of her nunning.

Question #5.  During “So Long, Farewell”, why does Liesl want to stay at the ball? (Correct answer: to have her first champagne)

 "Because Uncle Max asked her to be his date" Turns out Uncle Max is that kind of uncle....

"Because she wants her daddy"  Awkward.

“She wants it to be her first campaign” Spelling is hard, y’all.

Question #6. If the Baroness marries the  Captain, what will she do with the children? (Correct answer: send them to boarding school)

 "Puts them in boring school" Oh kids, we call that public school. ;)

"Send them to alternative school" This is where bad middle schoolers go in our county

"Send them south of the border." I fear this child has mixed up facts with a Taco Bell commercial.

Question #7. What happens between Liesl and Rolf in the gazebo? (Correct answer: they sing “16 going on 17” and kiss)

 "She tells the man they have to run"

Also, while the kids were taking the test, a little boy came up to me and asked, “Mrs. Mccurdy, what’s a gaze – bow?” Took me a minute to realize he meant gazebo.

Question #8. The children put on a puppet show- what is the puppet show about?

 “Its about this woman that wants this guy but she has goats”    Moral of that story: if you’ve got goats, you’ll be single for life.

"it's about how they put a frog in her pants" In case you haven’t seen the movie, this is referencing an earlier scene. This kids not a TOTAL weirdo.

"Them on hills and sheep and two people met and dance" Ah, grammar.

And my favorite:

 "wolves"

Just wolves. So, according to this kid, shepherds lead flocks of wolves? I hope he never runs into an actual wolf.

Question #9:  What is the lesson Mother Superior is trying to teach Maria during “Climb Every Mountain”? (Correct answer: to pursue your dreams, or something like that)

"how to sing good and get better a remembering the songs”

"how to dance"

“be on time!!”

  

Question #10:  What was the Anschluss? (Correct answer: the Nazi occupation of Austria. I literally said this 3 jillion times.)

 "A concert where choirs sing"

"To sing with the Nozies singing"

 "The head nun"

“A dinner?”

Question #11:  What does Herr Zeller want from Captain VonTrapp (when he returns from his  honeymoon)?

 " a ring" In the wise words of Beyonce, “if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!”

"sign his kids up to be in a show"   Yes, the fun show where you have to hide behind grave stones so Nazis don’t kill you and your family. That show’s my fave

"his children" 

"He wants to kiss him, so bad"  I have no idea what this kid was going for.

"He wants the Captain to work for The Hitler"  This is such a South Knoxville answer – “The Hitler”. Just like, “Imma go down to The Walmart, ya know the one right next to The Kenjo, and get me uh new nascar tee-shirt!”

"He wants the kids to sing in a festival"  Only if we’re calling WWII a “festival”.

Question #12;  Who is the family running from at the end of the movie? (Correct answer: the Nazis)

 "Maria and the Captain and his kids"

"The Wazis"

"The Baronness"  Wouldn’t it be an awesome plot twist if the one orchestrating the whole Nazi thing was the jilted Baroness?? I like where this kids head is at.
"The Russian Security"

Question #13: Why are the Nazis upset when they hear the Captain singing “Edelweiss”?

 "because the nazis are jealous because they sing good" Everyone knows Nazis can’t sing worth crap.

 "because they realize it was wrong of them to invade england"

"because the nazis think they could sing it better" This is the true cause of the war – jealousy over the Captain’s singing voice.
"They don't like that he's singing it 'cause he invaded their country" This kid is just confused.

“Because he’s a captain. Captain’s don’t sing” “This is the Anschluss! There’s no singing in the Anschluss!!”

“Nazis hate music” That one might be accurate!

Question #14:   Why can’t the family just drive to Switzerland? (Correct answer: the borders are closed)

 "cause there are too many mountains and that nun told them not to" I don't think this kid understood the meaning of  "Climb Every Mountain" 

"they put the wall up" I’m wondering if the social studies classes are studying the Berlin Wall?

Question #15:  Why can’t the Nazis catch the VonTrapp family?

"Because they are hanging from trees" I’m hoping this is referencing an earlier scene where the kids climb trees, not a lynching.

Question #16:  Who wrote “The Sound of Music?

 "Albert Einstein and Roger"

 "Andy"  Just Andy. No last name. Like Beyonce.

"Hammerstain and Anschluss"

“The Jolly Rodgers”

Question #17:  Name the Vontrapp children. The first letter was provided:

Liesl: Lesisel

Frederic: Frank, Ferdick, Frogurt.

Louisa: Lambergeta, Lars, Lescy, Len

Kurt: Kiel

Brigitta: Barrel, Borders, Bogeta, Brandon, Bender, Brooklyn, Bermheld, Boisel, Beasty  This is by FAR the hardest name for middle schoolers. I mean, seriously: Beasty???
Marta: Meager, Magenta, Murgurt, Mary, Measel, and "Mablabablabata. I don't know", Magnet

Gretl: Gilbert, Gary, Greasal

And some kids didn’t get any names right:

"Lisa, Frank, Lisa, Kevin, Britney, Mary, and George."  How many families have 2 kids by the same name?

"Lies, Flowers, Lol, Kelly, Billy, Maria, and Gill" Half of these are just nouns.

"Leslie, Ferrell, Lacey, Kimmy, Bonny, Maggy, and Gretel."

And my personal favorite: the only character this kid could remember was Frederic (pronounced FREE-der-ick). So, he just added “ederic” to every letter I’d provided. I like to read this one out loud to myself when I’m having a bad day.

Lederic, Frederic, Lederic (again. ‘cause that makes sense), Kederic, Bederic, Mederic, and Grederic.

And now for some opinion questions: 

Question #18:  This movie came out in 1965 and is still the most popular movie musical of all time. Why do you think it still appeals to audiences?

“When the dad was talking snake talk to the boy.” I think this kid meant “smack” talk. That or they’re confusing this movie with Harry Potter.

 "Because it is a hard teaching movie with twists, turns, and fabulous music" This is just a great answer! :) 

Question #19:  What was your favorite part of the movie? Why?

"The end because the movie was finally over" I hate children. Just kidding. Don't fire me. :)

Question #20:  If you were playing a character in the musical, which one would you be? Why?

"Liesal, because she is secretive and she can drive and play the geetar." Ah, the geetar. Also, when did this kid see Liesl driving?

"I would be that woman on stage who got third place in the festival competition because she won a prize, she got some flowers, and she wasn't being hunted down by Nazis." I love this answer! :)

So, according to my 6^th grade students:

“The Sound of Music”, written by The Jolly Rodgers, tells the story of Maria, a slutty, coffee-slinging nun living in Alstrya, who is sent away from her Abbey because she rips her clothing and whilshilshes too much. She becomes the governess for a snake-charming Captain and his 7 children: Lies, Frogurt, Lambergeta, Kevin, Beasty, Magnet, and Gary. They obviously need a governess as one is dating her own uncle, another is oddly secretive, and another has begun some type of “campaign”. She teaches them songs like “Bad Maria”, “The Doe in Me”, and “I have conffidients in mer” as well as a puppet show about a woman with frogs in her pants who shepherds wolves and is hopelessly single. Maria soon falls in love with the Captain, who breaks it off with his Baroness girlfriend (who would have sent the kids south of the border, had they married). Confused, Maria returns to her Mother Superior, who teaches her to dance and memorize songs. She returns to the mansion and marries the Captain, but whilst on their honeymoon, the Anschluss (a dinner where Nazi choirs sing) happens and they rush home to find Herr Zeller who, despite his secret love for the Captain, merely asks him to work for The Hitler.  The Captain refuses and taunts them with song – the only true defense against Nazis, since they are tone deaf. The family tries to escape to Switzerland, but they can’t because of the Berlin Wall. In the end, it is revealed that the Baroness, blinded by rage and revenge, was behind the whole thing and the family is lynched.

Sounds right to me!  
-Becca