Week 18 or “Baby fails to hit first milestone and is now doomed to life of mediocrity”

Warning: any baby posts might involve some unappetizing talk including, but not limited to: my lady parts, peeing, and the word “fetus”. Proceed with caution.

So far, Aardvark has been hitting those milestones like a CHAMP. When the baby app's all “Your baby's ears on the correct side of its head now!”, I'm all, “YEAH THEY ARE!”. And when the app is all “Your baby's head is now 30% of its body mass!”, I'm all, “SUCK ON THAT, SMALL HEADED BABIES!” And when the baby app says “your baby now pees into their amniotic sac and then inhales it through their mouth and nose”, I'm all “WHAT THE HELL, MAN? THAT'S NOT OKAY”.

But this week, the baby app said “Now that you've felt your baby moving.....”

Um, say what? Gotta be honest, I haven't felt squat. Great. Our baby is officially behind the times. All the cool babies are kickin' up a storm and my baby is just chillin' out max and relaxin' all cool.

Stats

Baby is the size of a(n): Sweet potato. Now, you'd think you'd be able to feel something the size of a side dish at Texas Roadhouse moving around in your abdomen, but NO. YOU CAN'T.

How I'm feeling: Pretty good, aside from the constant worrying about my lazy baby. I go through these phases where first, we go to the doctor, who tells us everything is fine. I feel super for a week or so. Then, I start to freak out a lot. The week before the next doctor's appointment, I'm a hot mess. (“There is no baby in here, it's JUST BAGELS.”) Russell talks me down. We go to doctor, everything's fine. Repeat.

How much weight have I gained: 13 pounds. I'm cool with it. :)

Cravings: Sweets, all the time. And I'm SO THIRSTY.

How Russell's doing: Russell is pretty much the best husband ever. The other night, I was walking the dog and it started raining, so the dog and I started running back to the house. I look up and there's Russell, busting out of the house, presumably to come rescue me from the rain. :) So cute.

How the nursery is coming along: Y'all, that nursery is almost done! As in, it almost has walls and non-exposed wiring and no lead paint. Contractor has been here for a few days and Russell gave the walls 2 coats of “Sea Mist” which is basically really, really light mint green. Next week we (re: the people we are paying) will get the moldings back up and then it's onto refinishing the floors! Whew!

Tasks I've had to avoid since we haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet:

I've taken out the “lies we've had to tell” section, since we're now out of the closet so to speak. This past week, I've had to avoid paint fumes (although I read they're actually not that bad. Still, it was an excuse not to paint).

Best part of being pregnant this week:Seeing the nursery come together! It's as if there will be a tiny person living in there soon.  

Worst part of being pregnant this week: Having a super long to-do list that I can only do half of by myself. I'm what some may call “controlling”. I prefer “involved”. So, having to wait for someone else to do things like paint is kind of frustrating.